Just Play My Music;

2008年12月12日星期五

LIFE IS A FUCKING BITCH WITH U

life was great f0r me till night...
i finally realise how pissed 0ff i can get when u guys are here...
it makes my m00d s0 fucking upset...
and now i am going to express all my fucking anger in this blog..
i hate myself n0w..
i am b0ttled with l0ts and l0ts 0f anger..
so much so that i feel like bleeding..
if i ever gets into depressi0n 0r cut my wrist again..
i will just cut till i die..
anyways i always believe that my g0al in living in this w0rld is t0 pr0tect my grandfather..
if anything happens to me..
the s0ul 0f me is dead..
i am just a s0uless b0dy.. GET IT?

y0u guys always claim that i am WRONG..
s0 what makes u think that i am n0t WRONG huh?
be glad that i have never t0uched th0se tempting stuff ..
but yet.. th0se verbally sp0ken w0rds fr0m me..
were NEVER BELIEVE..

firstly..
till t0day alm0st a year has passed..
u guys keep saying that u dun wan me to be involved in a relationship
but yet i believe that i didn't make the wr0ng ch0ice..
d0 u guys understand me?even the single bit?
i bet u dun !!
when was the last time u guys said something encourag0us t0 me?
when was the last time u asked me how is sch00l life? t0ugh?
when was the last time u t0ld me h0w much u l0ve me as a member?
ALL THIS PROBABLY HAPPENED BEF0RE I WAS LONG BEF0RE 12.

u guys have seen f0r y0urself..
h0w g00d he can be..
alth0ugh he might not be perf0rming academically but what makes u y0u tink that he can't bring me happiness??
i dun care whether if the guy is rich or educated.
at least f0r n0w..
i need s0me0ne wh0 truly kn0ws me..
s0me0ne who can be by my side when i need him..
s0me0ne t0 give me c0mf0rt and c0ns0le when i am d0wn and make happy with all his silly acti0ns..
n0 0ne is perfect . n0t even angels h0w can u find a perfect man ?

i am dumb thats why i can't sc0re well f0r my exams..
what makes u guys thing that it is always a relationship's fault?
u ppl might find that i am naive, stubb0rn 0r even plain dumb..
but there is always something call striking a balance between studies and life..
GET THIS CLEAR I AM NOT SMITTEN BY HIS LOVE..
i am clear with what i know ..

didn't u see me studying ?
didn't u see me not t0uching my ph0ne while studying?
didn't u even see the eff0rt that i have put in t0 at least get respected?
why the fuck do u always say that' HOW CAN U STUDY WHEN UR PHONE IS ALWAYS RINGING AND U ARE ALWAYS EXCHANGING MSG?'- it is always when i am tired and i decided to send a sms or it was a sms fr0m s0me0ne t0 enc0urage me t0 jiay0u..
but why it is that u have seen it in a wrong perception?

secondly,
whats wr0ng with talking 0n the ph0ne?
why d0 u always have to wake up in the middle of the nite to express ur frustati0ns?
WHY!?
i have t0lerated..
i kn0w my handphone bills are high..
AND N0W I HAVE DECIDED T0 GET A NEW SIM CARD WITH A NEW NUMBER THAT I SHALL N0T GIVE TO ANY OF U GUYS BUT MY FRIENDS ...HAPPY?
if this was what u wanted..
congrats.. i have accomplished ur task..
i have tried my very best to minimise my sms but i know u are angry that u have to carry the burden of my handphone bill.. but NO LONGER FR0M N0W 0N..

i am getting myself mY STUFF WITH MY MONEY..
I HATE DEPENDENCE ..ESPECIALLY FR0M YOU GUYS..
i swear that if i am 18..
at this m0ment .. I WILL RUN 0UT 0F THIS H0USE T0 THE STREETS..
REGARDLESS OF DYING ON THE STREETS OR STARVING HUNGER..
I RATHER NOT STAY IN THIS HOUSE! MARK MY W0RDS..

i am filial piety..but why do u have to drive me to the walls!?
ARGHHHHHHHHHHHH....... fuck fuck fuck...

will you guys just leave the era that u have been stuck till now?
i am getting so sick of this life that i no longer feel like coming home anymore..
at least i will av0id coming h0me early...
i am feeling so faithless..
i dunno what u have been expecting of me
i am under stress in ur sh0es..
I AM S0 TIRED..

i just wana be myself..
why do u have to restrict me fr0m d0ing sp0rts when i l0ve the sun?
why d0 u have o restrict me fr0m night time when he can enjoy them?
why can he drink alcoh0l and i can't ?
why can he d0 th0se things that i CAN'T?/

what makes u think that u are s0 freaking great?
u tink i am s0 inn0cent?
u tink i dun sm0ke?
u think i dun drink?
be glad that i have not t0uch th0se stuff anym0re..

have u even realise that i was in the state of depression when i was pri 6?
i slash my wrist , my hands and shoulder..
they were all dripped with bl00d..
but yet.. no one knew about it..
except for my friends..

this vide0 can express my anger..

i am a quarter alive

Music Took Control at; 08:04